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First Day Fears

Starting school can be exciting for young kids. It can also be scary. That’s true whether this is their first time going to school or they’re starting a new grade. And the change in routine can be very challenging for some kids. This year may be challenging for even more kids as they return to in-person school after a long time away from it.

What do young kids get most anxious about when it comes to starting school?

Kids can get anxious about lots of different things. It’s actually not uncommon at all, especially for kids with learning and thinking differences. Some kids’ are anxious about not going to see their summer friends as often. This means they’re going to have to re-establish connections with school friends which understandably many children stress about.

For some kids, the idea of taking the bus can also be an issue. For others, the prospect of meeting new teachers, particularly if they were attached to their previous class teacher and this is a real concern for your child. Still other kids might get anxious about whether or not they’ll have all the right clothes and supplies for school.

Most young children are creatures of habit and thrive on routines and schedules. Starting school changes what they’ve come to expect with their predictable lifestyle.

They may feel insecure about the school and classroom environments. There may be some who are anxious about something as simple as eating lunch at school or using a bathroom that they’re not familiar with.

How can I tell if my child is experiencing anxiety about starting school?

Many kids have a hard time recognizing when they’re anxious and putting those feelings into words. But your child’s behavior will give you hints. Learn to watch and recognize when your child seems out of sorts. Notice if your child is having trouble sleeping or seems more irritated by small things, or if you see any changes at mealtimes.

When they’re scared or nervous, they may actually feel sick or behave in ways that are not typical for them. That may be how they tell you something is bothering them.

Kids may verbalize their fears with questions that seek assurance. For example, some may ask, “Are you going to be able to stay with me?” “Will my teacher like me?” “Will I make friends?”

It’s also common to see physical symptoms of anxiety. Your child may have a stomachache, usually in the morning before school or in the evening before going to bed.

After the first month of school, your child should be less nervous and more comfortable with the school routine. However, if after a month your child still has intense anxiety about school, you may want to seek additional help and most schools have counsellors who will signpost you in how to handle this.

What can I say to help my child feel less anxious?

When talking about starting school, reassure your child that school is a fun and safe space. Offer a reminder that your child will get to meet new friends and participate in fun games and activities.

If possible, plan a visit to the school with your child. It can be helpful to take pictures of the school and classroom, as well as the adults your child will work with. You can show the pictures in the days and weeks leading up to school to help familiarize your child with this new environment.

Remember that kids can feed off of parents’ anxiety. Do your best to be calm and routine when preparing for back to school. Don’t make a big deal out of it.

Sometimes it’s helpful to talk about starting school. For instance, you can say things like: “I was talking to your friend’s mom, and she mentioned that your friend is looking forward to seeing you at school.”

But rather than talking, often it’s even more helpful to actually do things that can lessen anxiety. Make a checklist of things your child needs to have for the start of school. Together, you can check off each item as your child gets it to show progress. Plan a few upcoming weekend activities with summer friends or family for the first few weeks of school. Let your child know that the end of summer doesn’t mean the end of fun.

Let your child know that it’s normal to feel anxious about starting school. Acknowledging fears can be helpful. For example, you can try saying, “You may be feeling nervous or scared about starting school, and that’s OK. You can get through it, and I’m here to help.”

Reaching out to friends who may be in the same class and setting up playdates  prior to school starting can also help ease worries.

Motivating Reluctant Learners.

Reluctant learners need to be both challenged and supported if they are to develop the self-efficacy they need to take risks and succeed.

They avoid challenges, don’t complete tasks, and are satisfied to “just get by.” They are reluctant learners, who often have the potential to excel but don’t seem to care about achieving in school. Identifying the reasons behind these students’ reluctance to learn is integral to engaging their interest and helping them to succeed

Many reluctant students have received the message over time that they are poor students. As a result, they feel frustrated, inadequate, confused, or even ashamed. As they continue to receive negative feedback from teachers and parents, they have even less motivation to excel and become even more disengaged from academic tasks. This situation is a recipe for failure.


Students’ beliefs about their capability to accomplish meaningful tasks— known as self-efficacy—directly affect their motivation to learn. Those with high self-efficacy willingly approach learning, expend effort, persist in the face of challenges, and use strategies
effectively, while those with low self efficacy more typically avoid challenges, expend little effort, and give up, other beliefs that harm or hinder students’ self-efficacy include:

Lack of relevance. They may believe schoolwork is unimportant and does not relate to their life or interests.
Fear of failure. They may feel it is safer not to try than to try and risk failure or embarrassment.
Peer concern. They may opt to appear “cool” to their peers by not trying to learn.
Learning problems. They may find it difficult to keep pace with peers and simply give up in frustration.
Lack of challenge. Their apathy toward schoolwork may stem from assignments that are below their ability.
Desire for attention. They may be trying to gain the teacher’s attention and support by appearing helpless.
Emotional distress. Their lack of interest in schoolwork or ability to focus may actually be an indication of anxiety, distress, or depression.
Expression of anger. They may perform poorly in school as an act of rebellion against parental pressure to excel.

Many reluctant learners do not know how to study effectively, and little classroom time is spent helping them develop such skills. Along with teaching key
strategies such as time management and how to summarize reading material, teachers should help students focus on these skills by asking questions such as “What strategies did you use?” and “How much time did you spend working on this problem?”.

Encourage Reluctant Learners
Small things can make a big difference and classrooms can become places where
reluctant learners feel safe and are encouraged to take risks. For example,
teachers can:
? Congratulate students regularly during each class on something they have
achieved;
? Respond non-evaluatively by offering comments such as “That’s an interesting
way of looking at it”; or
? Regularly acknowledge students for demonstrating improved effort or performance.


The reasons why a student is a reluctant learner are often complex, and educators need to consider not only the student in isolation but also the interaction between the student and
the school/classroom environment.

Reluctant learners need to be both challenged and supported. They need to be actively engaged by instructional approaches designed to maximize the possibilities for engagement. Finally, they need to feel safe enough to take the risks of participation instead of retreating from them. Obviously, in large classes and schools, this is extremely challenging, we have lost so many small primary schools where the teacher and the head teacher knew the family and the child personally. It is yet another challenge of the globalised economy that we all now live in. If the support can not be achieved in school then look at companies that can support with afterschool buddies that will engage, motivate and interact with your child to help build their self-efficacy and motivation.